Lisa Heart Pork!

Presumptive Senator-reelect Lisa Morekowbell Merkofski Mooorrrkkouzky M%$#@*..ththt Myxlplyx Murkowski (R), citing Alaska's recent entry into the Union(!), has vowed to fight for her right to earmark taxpayer money from the Lower 48 for Noble Projects for the Last Frontier.

A list of these projects, all $80M of them for 2010, are listed here. Note that many of these are defense projects. The DoD normally specifies (earmark) all of the spending in their budget, so these projects presumably are those that Senator M. added as being, in her judgement, critical to the mission of our armed forces.

Oklahoma Senator James Inhofe (R), and Mississippi's Thad Cochran (R, and Earmark Champion) have also vowed to nip the ears of Porky, too.

(Visual: John Q. Public, wearing a five-dollar suit and straw boater, holding a deed to the Brooklyn Bridge. Caption: "You mean they lied to me?")

Not Business as Usual?

Two nuggets in the news that add to the increasing pile of evidence that we are doomed:

1. A UAW chapter has nixed a deal to sell an Indianapolis parts plant that would have kept its doors open, albeit with lower wages and benefits. The opponents' rationale was that when the plant closes, many of the union workers will be able to transfer to other plants, keeping their current higher rates of pay. The unlucky workers at the plant who cannot transfer, all of the support workers at the Indy plant, and local merchants are, of course, left holding the bag.
2. It seems that majority taxpayer-owned General Motors has made over $90K in contributions to congressional campaigns, including those of Democrats John Dingell, Debbie Stabenow, and Republican Eric Cantor. To say that this reeks of "moral hazard" is to be polite.
   

Taking the High Road.

Democrats will stick to the issues for the rest of the campaign, the NYT reports. Critical issues like their opponents' divorces, drinking, bankruptcies, philandery, lawsuits, kids' bad grades, and fashion sense.

Sorry, Bernie.

The Iranian Government's Ministry of Culture has issued a list of acceptable haircuts. (the picture is of the beloved "Bernie" from the early '70s TV show, "Room 222")

Dim-Bulb Debbie Strikes Again.

Michigan's Junior Senator, Debbie Stabenow continues to embarass her state. We are not inclined to ad hominem attacks on congresscritters. But we'll suspend our restraint for this one, extraordinary moment: Debbie Stabenow is a Chucklehead. She believes that the power, dignity, and solemn gravity of her office should be used to call for the Commissioner of Baseball to overrule the umpire who denied a Tiger pitcher a perfect game:

MACKINAC (ISLAND) (sic)– U.S. Senator Debbie Stabenow (D-MI) today made the following statement urging Major League Baseball Commissioner Bud Selig to invoke the “Best Interests of the Game” clause to declare Armando Galarraga’s performance perfect.

“Last night’s performance deserves its place in the record books. It is clear that Commissioner Selig should make an exception in this case and invoke the ‘best interests of the game clause’ to reflect Armando Galarraga’s perfect game for the Detroit Tigers.” – U.S. Senator Debbie Stabenow.

Will some human, animal, vegetable or mineral, take up votes and by opposing this twit, end her Senatorial career? Please?

Let the Party Bee-Gin!

MSNBC's Rachel Maddow gleefully laid out the rain of goodies to be expected from Obamacare. As a public service we provide some commentary and include some of the other events that will occur during the first few years of the rollout (points marked with * indicate reforms that are commonly accepted as part of less intrusive solutions):

2010:

• Tax credits for small businesses to provide health care for their employees*. May not be sufficient to compensate for increased rates (see below).
• Kids can stay on their parents' plan until age 26; if the increment in rates is not onerous, this could improve the financials.*
• More money for seniors' drugs by plundering Medicare Advantage.
• High-risk pools established.* May or may not raise rates.
• Ban on "previous condition" denials for kids*. This is likely to raise rates.
• Health Savings Accounts gutted; maximum HSA deduction reduced by 60%
• Pro-abortion advocates likely to overturn "Stupak's Order".
• Patching the Medicare provider payment reductions eats all of this year's "savings" and them some.
• The new enormous federal healthcare bureaucracy begins to be assembled, to join all of the other federal government healthcare bureaucracies (Medicare, Medicaid, VA, Military, SCHIP, Indian Health, to name a few).
• The IRS begins hiring its required additional 16,000 agents.
• Pork deals to garner Congresscritters' votes explode like fiscal grenades throughout the year.
• Student loan program converted in government monopoly, except in North Dakota. On the surface, it seems that this has nothing to do with health care. However, it is expected that the profit made on these loans, generated from the interest rate difference between borrowing and loaning, will be part of the advertised "health care savings".

2011:

• Long-term care insurance program established; minimum 5 years of premiums required, but who is going to say no to Grandma?
• Free preventative care for Medicare recipients. Likely to raise rates.
• Annual $2.5B "Pay to Play" charges to drug makers begins.
• Insurance companies must pay out 80-85% of premiums in health care expenses, or must refund difference to policy holders. Most health insurance companies have profit margins at or under 5%, so increased overhead costs to implement new federal rules and mandates are likely to lead to losses in intial years. The federal government's profit ceilings on insurance companies begins their transformation into utility companies.

2013:

• Excise tax on medical devices begins.
• New Medicare taxes on the "Super-Rich" (couples with incomes greater than $250K)
• New tax on dividends and interest income.
• Pilot programs to test "bundled care" Medicare payment programs.

Come An' Git It!

Health Care Fer All? Sure! Let the taxin' bee-gin! Them savin's? In them Out Years! (read: when Hell freezes up!) Too "sceered" to pass it the way we all larned in school? Sure, sneek it under the door! This is just too important! Now brang on that-there Ammisty! Thar's another 20 million fer Health Care! Maw, git that printin' press a'churnin!

Shame!

Yes, shame and disdain on Senator Jim Bunning for his arrogance in believing that when Congers enacted "Pay As You Go" budgeting that they meant it.

Oh, If Everyday Could Be a Snowday!

The Gummint will be closed tomorrow because of "The Big Snowjob" (not to be confused with "The Budget Freeze", but the latter does possess qualities of the former). Perhaps Mother Nature can do what the Congresscritters can't: restrain the growth and spending of the federal government.

Truly, a Clunker.

Edmunds.com recently announced their estimate of the cost to Mr. Taxpayer of the the Obama "Clunkers" auto purchase incentive program. It came in a whopping $24K per vehicle. In related news, the estimated cost per job "saved or created" by this year's Spendulus Bill was at least $390K, based on the spending of $250B to support 640K jobs (source: WSJ).

Perhaps the Apocalypse Is Imminent?

We have always pooh-poohed doomsayers. But then we saw this. Perhaps we should get our affairs in order.

Just Go, Please.

Rich Lowry of National Review has it right: it's not about adultery, it's about dereliction of duty. Governor Sanford, it's time to go.

The Circus is in Town!

We Americans can only handle serious issues for brief periods of time. The stretch from February through June was as a geologic timescale for us, filled with Pork Bills, Pirates, North Korea, Iran, Gitmo, Carbon Taxes, Obama Motors, and National(ized) Health Care. So do we now hear calliope music in the air? Yes, indeed, the Circus is back in town, courtesy of the sad passing of Mr. Jackson. The Meatpackers will be consumed by the grisly details of the inquest, rumors, rumors about rumors, indictments, legal fistfighting over the estate, 24-hour televigils, and the massteria of the funeral, burial, tributes, riots, and the associated merchandising. A great time for a backcountry vacation or getting some of that summer reading done. A siren will signal the all clear.

Pass the Wild Turkey, Please!

If you are not yet convinced of the psychotic disaster that is the Stimulus Spending, consider this: Uncle Sugar Daddy will be plunking nearly a billion bucks in Michigan to pursue such projects as a Neat-O Futuristic Keen high-speed rail line to connect Ann Arbor to the Cool Places. But meanwhile the roads in Michigan will go unrepaired; Michigan cannot provide matching funds for road repair, and therefore the federal government will be withdrawing their contribution. But as our teeth rattle over the potholes, we can take comfort in the Fantastic High-Speed Rail Report that will be produced.

The Sixteen-Dollar Breakfast.

There is a deli/restaurant in Washtenaw County that Sensitive Types incessantly rave about. It's heralded for its bakery, its yummy food, and its funky style and cute cartoon advertising. It's been featured on The Sensitive Radio Food Show as the jewel of Ann Arbor eateries. The foodery makes money hand over fist, it pays its employees well with good benefits and its business model has been advocated as a progressive ideal.

The only bug in the whitefish salad about this place is, well, it's expensive. Really expensive. Actually, obscenely expensive. Like thirty-dollar olive oil (it's incredible olive oil!). Or like the recent experience of a friend of mine who stopped there for a bagel with lox & cream cheese, and a side of whitefish salad. After parting with sixteen bucks, he was left with bellyache from the red onions on the sandwich and an inescapable sensation of being had.

This business model is not revolutionary nor progressive. It's the same one that P.T. Barnum employed, or that a famous magic and gag gift company used to lure your author at ten years of age into parting with his chore earnings for a box of tricks the would amaze and astound his family and friends, that would bring to the waiting world a Young Svengali. A photo in a family album records the moment of revelation after opening the box: is this it? Five bucks for this???
Then again, this may be a lesson that one periodically relearns (see previous entry).

B-E-S-U-R-E-T-O-D-R-I-N-K-Y-O-U-R-O-V-A-L-T-I-N-E

For God's Sake - Literally - Just End It.

There is a terrible, terrible arguement in the Evangelical Lutheran Church of America (ELCA). This arguement has been a hammer and tong affair for at least two decades now, with no signs of resolution.

Isn't it simply an immutable fact that there exists a fundamental and irreconcilable schism in the church between those that believe that homosexual relationships can be consistent with living a God-directed life and those that believe that such relationships are contrary to God's directives for our lives? If so, we must end the relentless cycle of one side employing the political and bureaucratic hammers of the church to attempt to repeatedly bludgeon the other side into submission or silence. Let's stop this nonsense and agree to a divorce. Yes, divorce. A tragedy? Yes, but inescapable. Is this a radical view? How can we think so after all of the pain received by and delivered to both sides by the other?

The Evil One has really enjoyed this one.

Holy Week.

NPR, Gary Keillor, The Nation editor Mistress Katrina Von Hoofenderfloogle, Kief Ubermann and the We Are the World Usual Suspects are getting the vapors in anticipation of the most holy event of our lifetime: the Installation of Pope Barack I. Keillor on a recent Prairie Home Angst, retold the Gospel story of the sojourn of Mary and Joseph to Bethlehem as that of Michelle and Barack to Washington. We agree with the National Review, such an analogy is just creeeepy. Meanwhile, Elizabeth Alexander, chair of African-American Studies at Yale, has been tapped to deliver the Inaugural Poem. According to a background piece at the Atlanta Constitution-Journal, her credentials are steeped in art and politics , the politics of art, and the art of politics. Ahh, shall we close our eyes and swoon in rapture to verses of neo-Socialist Realism? The baking of bread as a political statement? A Man and His Tractor? Will the cornicopia of ethnogendercreeds be given each a moment in the sun during the soliloquy? We'll have a big box of Kleenex on hand to soak up our tears of joy. We will also have box on hand to soak up the tears of grief as the Super-Colossal Extravagonzo Stimulus Cheese Wheel is rolled down Capitol Hill.

Artes, Scientia, Veritas.

The Ann Arbor News reports that a University of Michigan professor is under investigation for hiring a female UM law student to...well, to...you know...and it got a bit out of hand. Our hallowed alma mater has reassured us, however, that there are strict rules in place to govern faculty-student romantic relationships, such as the requirement to file a "Conflict of Interest" working plan with the appropriate departments. We are much reassured.

We Are A Bank!

We at Deaddrifts have decided that if you can't fight the lurch toward socialism of our economy, you might as well fight for your place in line for the Government Cheese. Therefore, we declare ourselves to be a bank and insist we are entitled to a handout. And if this doesn't work, we will consider building cars...

The Bell Lap.

It's almost here, our national political orgasm is imminent. And whatever the result of Election Night, on Wednesday morning the Sun will rise, the geese will honk as they fly south, babies will gurgle "good morning" in their cribs, the toast will pop, coffee will be poured, and America will go on*.

Of course, for the pathological types, Wednesday morning will kickoff the campaign cycle for 2012: the planning for acquring power, retaining power, hoarding power, expanding power, or to ingratiate themselves with the newly powerful. Many will forget the reasons why they sought power in the first place. Some will be awake from the religous ecstasy, and ask "now what?"

In David Lean's magnificient film version of Doctor Zhivago (arguably the greatest film ever made), Red Army General "Strelinkov" proclaims to Yuri Zhivago that "the personal life is dead" - that human existance is reduced to service to the Communist Party - and derisively asks Yuri what he intends to do by traveling to the rural backwater of Varikino. "Just live", Zhivago replies.

Whether under the rapturous beneficience of Obamism or not, we can't wait to "just live".

*Inspired by Lou Rukeyser's post 1987 Crash Pep Talk.